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Domestic Violence Assistance Program (DV)

Domestic Violence is defined as any abuse between two people
who are or were in a relationship.
Image by Sydney Sims

Warning Signs Of Domestic Violence

  • Extreme jealousy

  • Relationship moving or progressing quickly

  • Isolation from friends and family

  • Put downs, criticism, and intentional embarrassment, especially in the presence of others

  • Being told what to do or how to dress

  • Sexual pressure

  • Calling or texting non-stop

  • ANY form of physical harm

Types of Abuse

  • PHYSICAL ABUSE: Grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, hair pulling, biting, etc.; denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use.

  • SEXUAL ABUSE: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, e.g., marital rape, forcing sex after physical beating, attacks on sexual parts of the body or treating another in a sexually demeaning manner; forcing the victim to perform sexual acts on another person, on the Internet, or pose for sexually-explicit photographs against their will.

  • ECONOMIC ABUSE: Making or attempting to make a person financially dependent, e.g., maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school or employment.

  • EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Undermining a person’s sense of self-worth, e.g., constant criticism, belittling one’s abilities, name-calling, damaging a partner’s relationship with the children.  An abuser may also use HIV-positive status or sexual orientation as a means to control you.  For example, an abuser may threaten to reveal your HIV status or your sexual identity.

  • PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: Causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner or children, destruction of pets and property, mind games or forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work. 

  • SEXUAL COERCION AND REPRODUCTIVE CONTROL:  When a partner sabotages your birth control efforts by demanding unprotected sex, lying about “pulling out,” hiding or destroying birth control (i.e., flushing pills down the toilet or poking a hole in a condom), preventing you from getting an abortion or forcing you to get an abortion.

  • ELDER ABUSE: An intentional or negligent act by any person that causes harm or a serious risk of harm to an older adult, elder abuse covers a wide range of crimes. It includes physical, sexual, and psychological abuse; neglect; and financial exploitation.

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If you need emergency shelter, please call us at (530) 257-4599 or 257-5004

visit the office at 1306 Riverside Drive, Susanville, California. Monday-Friday 9a.m.-5p.m.

Safety Plan

Your safety is extremely important. The information listed below can help you make a safety plan that works best for you.

It is important to create a safety plan. 

 

If you are in an abusive relationship, think about…

  • Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the local shelter.

  • Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.

  • How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.

  • Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen, try to get to one of these safer places.

  • Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house.

  • Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house like taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use every day (see the checklist). Hide the bag where it is easy for you to get.

  • Go over your safety plan often.

If you have left your abuser, remember to consider the following…

  1. Your safety. 

  2.  Getting a cell phone. Lassen Family Services may be able to provide you with a cell phone to call 911. 

  3.  Getting a restraining order from the court. Keep a copy with you at all times. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your boss. Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. Think about and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work. 

  4.  Changing the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights. 

  5. Telling friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children. 

  6. Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have restraining order protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.

  7. Not using the same stores or businesses that you did when you were with your abuser. 

  8. Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop. 

  9. Develop a safe way to speak with your abuser, if you must. 

  10. Going over your safety plan often.

  11. Do not use a routine so you're not easily tracked.

Checklist:

  • Four places you could go if you leave your home. 

  • People who might help you, if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets. 

  • Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone. 

  • Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name. 

  • How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house – taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave. 

  • How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children. 

  • Putting together a bag of things you use every day. Hide it where it is easy for you to get

Items to take, if possible:

  • Children (if it is safe)

  • Money

  • Keys to car, house, work

  • Extra clothes 

  • Medications

  • Important papers for you and your children

  • Birth certificates

  • Social security cards

  • School and medical records

  • Bankbooks, credit cards

  • Driver’s license

  • Car registration

  • Welfare identification

  • Passports, green cards, work permits

  • Lease/rental agreement

  • Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills

  • Insurance papers

  • PPO, divorce papers, custody orders

  • Address book

  • Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you

  • Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)

Lassen Family Services may be able to help with
changing locks, security systems, and outside lights.
WARNING: Take extreme caution when considering leaving an abuser. Abusers attempt to control a victims life, when an abuser senses a loss of control it may cause the abuse to get worse.
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